It was fantastic, and by that I mean, clear, instructive, and utterly entertaining. The last four minutes are priceless and they are transcribed below.
I’m out of time so I will close by telling you this, if we cannot sell something so simple to the American people. If we keep getting bogged down in policy and politics and not talk about philosophy, morality, and values in a way that is a story, then we don’t deserve to win. If we don’t do something that simple, we don’t deserve to win.
So, in a nutshell, what are our two stories? The conservative message versus the big progressive message. If I had to put it in a sentence I would say this: The conservative message, and view of America is that we are a nation of steely-eyed missile men with our eyes on a far horizon. We believe in loud guns, hot women, and fast cars. We want to do what we want to do all the time and we don’t like a bunch of high school student council weenies telling us what we can do, when we can do it, or how we can do it. We believe in freedom and prosperity and, if you work your tail off and you want to own seven houses (if seven is your limit), then that’s your business. And if you want to smoke a blunt that’s your business, too. It’s your business, not my business. We believe in limited energy and the power of the human mind to achieve miraculous goals. We have six flags up on the moon, and there’s nothing that we can’t do if we put our minds to it.
What’s the big progressive message? What’s the progressive’s vision for the future? A family of 10,000 humans left on the earth sitting in thatched huts sitting around burning cow pies, pulling parasites off of each other, eating their sustainable algae cakes, and raising money for the Guatemalan water snake.
Gee, I wonder which one I want to be a part of?
It’s the message. It’s the politics. If I ran the political wing of this county, I would abolish the term “Tea Party.” I had this conversation at a high school (I mentioned this in my session earlier): A kid said to me, “I want to start a tea party group at my high school, what do you think I ought to do, how do you think I ought to sell it?”
I said, “Don’t call it a tea party, don’t say Republican, and don’t say conservative.” Say, “At 2:30 on Tuesday, in room 402 there will be a meeting of the rebel alliance.” And when they ask you what that is, don’t say politics. Don’t say anything. If they say, “What is this rebel alliance thing?”, turn to them and say, “I’m not allowed to tell you about it.”
What have we done? We’ve already set up a curiosity about the story and put them on the defensive so that they want to be in the story.
“I really can’t talk about it.”
“Come on, you’ve gotta tell me something.”
“Well, it’s not for you.”
“What do you mean it’s not for me?”
“It’s not for you, dude. You can’t handle this, because if you’re going to be a member of the rebel alliance, you’re going to start out being outnumbered. We’re outnumbered 100-1on our best day. Go back to the rest of your pals in the Obama camp and you can go along with your business. You’re not fit enough to be a member of the rebel alliance. Because if you were a member of the rebel alliance, you have to know how economics work, and how history works, and sometimes things aren’t as they seem. And it’s only through dedication of a lifetime to our mad Jedi skills, that a small handful of us can get into these beat up ex-wing fighters, get out there and face wave, after wave, after wave of fighters, roll into that death star trench and back out before that death star blows up and takes everything with it. So, you had better hope that we succeed. And, parenthetically, the meeting of the rebel alliance will be in room 402 at 4:30.”